Online Therapy Treatment
Personal Triggers and Symptoms!
The following information was sent to my Readjustment Counselor at the Colorado Springs Veterans Center.
I had returned from spending 13 weeks in a Veterans Affairs post traumatic stress disorder "In-Patient" program at the Denver CO VA hospital. What happened was I came back worse than when I had left. He wanted to know why I was going through these intense feelings and anger at so many different topics.
While going through the program my group had a class on personal symptoms and the anger that they produced. I was up during my normal tour 1am ~ 3am, and saw what was still on the blackboard. The list was very long and filled almost the entire blackboard and I just sat down and wrote out a list of which one effected me. NOT all the items listed pertained to me since PTSD effects each person on a different level. What you see below is the list I gave my counselor, if you don't see yours... don't worry, like I said there are many more!
"Since our last conversation I have tried to place some order to the problems that I have had since my return from Vietnam and which has been very intense over the last year or so.
Knowing that there are resources available to me now through the Department of Veterans Affairs: "Vet Centers" has proved very helpful to me. The problem is having to deal with the past and the lost of a normal life that most other people have had the chance to experience!"
Personal List of Possible PTSD Results (by group)!
Each of these topics is a story upon itself and I will not be getting into them here. But do look at the trend of the message from each. Most PTSD people have these, if not more, that we have to live with each day of our lives.
- Anger, Fear of my aggression toward others, Road Rage, Intrusive thoughts, Hyper vigilance, Hyper-arousal, Nightmares and Flashbacks.
- Relationship problems with both males and females, divorced 3 times, over 400 "One-nighters" low self-esteem, emotional numbing, no friends just acquaintances, not allowing anyone to get close to me on an emotional level, authority problems including work environment, seeing everything with a black and white thinking process.
- Isolation, withdrawal but still having the feeling of loneliness, dissociation and indifference toward the world around me, not allowing people near me emotionally.
- Grief, guilt about a wasted life, resentment toward government and general public, survivor guilt, spiritual alienation, anxiety, frustration about the past events. Lowered sex drive, hopelessness, sleep problems, low motivation, money problems.
- Thinking of death, suicide, homicide, depression, risk taking, sadness, avoiding remembrances of events that took place in Vietnam, avoid memories of combat and the loss of life that I've seen.