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National Domestic Violence Hotline
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Domestic Violence Information from Gift From Within!
Please understand that I know nothing about the conditions, processes of Domestic Violence. The down side to this is that I am getting many requests for help and assistance. This is the best that I can do to help stop this ongoing process!
Does your partner:
You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:
You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:
Safety PlanningSafety planning for someone involved in an abusive relationship is a necessary and important step. Planning can be used while you are still with your abuser, or after the relationship has ended. While still in an abusive relationship, your safety within your home is of primary importance.
First, memorize safe numbers including the police, family, or a local domestic violence agency. If possible, obtain a cell phone to keep with you at all times.
Your safety plan should recognize dangerous areas within your home, including the kitchen or the garage where weapons are available, or the bathroom and other small places where one might be trapped. If possible, get to a room with a phone or a way to escape. If your friends or neighbors are aware of the situation set up signals or code words either by phone or alternative method that informs them that the situation is violent at home.
If you are planning on leaving your home, place an extra set of keys outside or in a hiding space and give extra copies of pertinent documents to someone you trust or placed in a hiding place.
After you leave, change your locks as well as add window locks and sensor lighting. You may also want to ask co-workers or neighbors to notify the police if the abuser is seen.
If there are children involved in the situation, the school should be notified of possible threats or and the current custody situation. Make sure the school knows who the children can be released to and to not give out any information.
Vary your route to work and change passwords on bank and E-mail accounts. Keep the restraining order or order of protections paperwork with you at all times, as well as a diary or journal with harassing E-mail or voice mails, violations of orders and actual attempts at contact recorded.
The following are on-line resources, chat rooms, support groups, and message boards that may be helpful to you.
On-line Resources:The Internet offers a unique opportunity for victims of domestic violence to find support, and share their stories. In the chat room sections of most Internet providers there are specific chat rooms for women, and often designated for divorce, separation or child custody issues. These include www.ivillage.com and www.oprah.com. In these chat rooms, and message boards there is sharing of stories, safety tips, and suggestions on how to survive in an abusive environment. As a warning please be aware of on-line safety. Do not share personal data, use a gender-neutral code name, and notify the Internet provider of possible harassment occurring in these rooms. Also, there are web sites run by individuals that offer chat rooms, and on going message boards where sharing also occurs. By using any search engine you can find many web sites devoted to domestic violence. The quality and intent of these web sites need to be determined by you, but there is a place of support on-line for those who are looking.
Physicians and Plastic Surgeons Helping Victims/Survivors of Domestic Violence:
Victims of domestic violence can get help rebuilding their appearance and self-esteem through programs like Face-To-Face, which provides consultation and surgery to survivors who have suffered injuries to the face, head or neck; Give Back a Smile, which works to restore the smiles of victims who have suffered damage to or lost their front teeth because of abuse; and S.C.O.R.E.S., which attempts to erase injuries to the skin (scars, tattoos, burns) to their face and torso as a result of abuse.
Each program is part of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) Cosmetic and Reconstructive Support Program. NCADV administers the initial screening all applicants must go through to determine eligibility. Once an applicant passes the initial screening, a referral is made to a local domestic violence shelter to set up an appointment with a counselor. The counselor then verifies that the injuries were sustained from an abusive relationship and ensures that the participant is receiving the proper counseling to overcome emotional scars. Each programs requires applicants to be out of the abusive relationship for at least a year.
To find out more about how these programs can help rebuild the lives of victims of domestic violence in your area, please call the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at 303/839-1852 or check out the web site at National Coalition Against Domestic Violence .
Face-To-FaceFace-To-Face is a project of the Educational and Research Foundation for the Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFRS). Face To Face provides facial, neck and head reconstructive and plastic surgery to repair injuries caused by an intimate partner or spouse. For more information, please call 1-800-842-4546.
Give Back A Smile/1-800-773-GBAS (4227)
Give Back A Smile is a program of the National Humanitarian Project of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry and the AACD Charitable Foundation. Survivors of domestic violence who have suffered injuries to their front teeth and/or supporting structures of the front teeth can receive complimentary construction and cosmetic and reconstructive dental care. For more information, please call 1-800-773-GBAS (4227). Skin Care Outreach Empowers Survivors (SCORES)/1-888-892-6702
S.C.O.R.E.S. is a program of the American Society for Dermatologic Surgery (ASDS). The program offers dermatologic surgery to domestic violence survivors to repair skin injuries (scars, burns, tattoos) on the body caused by an intimate partner or spouse. For more information, please call 1-888-892-6702.
Hotline Advocates speak out about Callers:A caller dials the Hotline after her boyfriend pulled a gun and threatened to kill her if she left him. Fearing for her life, she fled with her two young children. They had run to a nearby strip mall where she hoped to find a safe place to hide until she could locate a safe place to stay that night. She called the Hotline from a restaurant. As she told Hotlines Advocate her story, she watched her abuser search for her in every store in the center. There were only minutes to spare before he might discover her. Once a local shelter was contacted, arrangements were made to rescue the woman and her children from their hiding spot in a back alley behind the restaurant. Later that evening the woman called back to say thank you.
The caller had gotten our number from a local program. She told me the story of her best friend whom her boyfriend has brutalized over the last three years. In an attempt to keep her from getting away, he had severely broken one of her bones. The caller and her friend were making plans for her to get away, but they had not contacted the local shelter program for any kind of support, because they did not know that such programs existed. I was amazed by the callerís bravery in the face of such violence. Other friends and family members had told her to stay away and mind her own business, but she knew that the violence that had been committed against her friend was her business. The boyfriend had threatened the caller and her children, but the caller was smart about how she handled the situation. She was undaunted in her efforts to keep her friend safe and alive.
A woman called from a phone booth. Her partner had beaten her, stolen her vehicle and then left her stranded her on the side of the road. She was covered in blood. She did not want to call the police or go to the hospital, she just wanted to go somewhere safe. I was able to find her a shelter and connect the call through. The caller had no money and did not know where she was, but the shelter was able to identify her location by a landmark and told her they would come and pick her up. She told me no one other than myself and the shelter worker had asked her what was wrong or if they could help. People passed her, saw her covered in blood and did nothing.
A caller said she just wanted to say "thanks" to the all of us on the Hotline. She said she had called us about a year ago to talk about verbal and emotional abuse from her husband. The advocate she spoke with spent some time on the line with her and gave her some options - including counseling. The caller had decided to seek counseling, and she said that after about six months she gained the courage to apply for a job and started to think about leaving her husband. She has now been promoted, and has made the final decision to get out on her own and start over. She could not remember who she spoke with, but said it was fairly late at night the last time she called. She really wanted to thank that advocate and all of us for the work that we do.
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